Latinos For Trump Promises A Taco Truck On Every Corner

Illustration for article titled Latinos For Trump Promises A Taco Truck On Every Corner

Marco Gutierrez, founder of Latinos for Trump, is “warning” of a taco truck on every corner as the natural consequence of out-of-control Mexican immigration.


This, of course, makes total sense and there is, in fact, a historical precedent for it. During the Nineties, Seattle and Portland residents were allowed to roam the country unchecked as, as a result, there is now a Starbucks on every corner. That’s EXACTLY how it works.


Said Gutierrez:

“My culture is a very dominant culture. And it is imposing, and it is causing problems. If you don’t do something about it you are going to have taco trucks on every corner.”


Let’s get something straight. Taco trucks don’t cause problems. Taco trucks SOLVE problems. Let’s say - and this is just a hypothetical situation and is in no way based on my life experience - it’s 1:30 a.m. and you’ve been pounding draft Lagunitas at Baggy’s By The Lake for the past four hours, while periodically stepping outside to smoke up. The Lucky’s closed at midnight and you’re hella hungry.

Well that’s okay because the taco truck is open and you can get a super burrito the size of a newborn infant filled with barbecoa and fresh guac with jalapenos and carrot on the side and both the red salsa and the green for like $8.


See? The taco truck solved the problem. If anything, “no taco truck” would be a problem.


Personally, I think that Hillary should seize on this opportunity to update one of FDR’s promises:

A taco truck on every corner and telenovelas on every channel.

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